Funny name.

Click on it to make it bigger:

How not to save a penalty.

Unfortunate.

Food Fight.

From http://www.pbfcomics.com:

The Coolest Man Alive.

This is awesome:

Jerry Springer.

I forgot how hilarious and soul-destroying this show was.

Hard Gay.

I have to put this guy into a programme I'm developing. Absolutely awesome. I love the way the presenter is named after the early 90s WWF wrestler Razor Ramon as well.

Mel Gibson's Signs... of anti-semitism

Is Mel's career over now?

V Festival. More photos during the night on Sunday.

And this is our friend from the North - where exactly I don't know - anything north of Barnet confuses me.








I think he's abusing me right now. But he has tasted his own semen. Mixed with another lad's semen.






My god, it's light - no wonder I've been out of it this week.









5am and still up for it - good work peeps.







And that's the end of our V Festival experience. Me, Nath and Din were packed up and ready to go at 10, at which point we had to wait for a bus for about 2 hours, so we stood there and sang mid 90s pop and dance hits to entertain the group in front of us. And I had to listen to Din and Nath have the most ridiculous conversation that I only partly took part in (see what they said here).

Was a wicked weekend, the bands were amazing, the food was awful, the beer was flowing, the songs were sung, the new friends were brilliant and we were fucking awesome. Thanks to every Gary I met.

V Festival. Photos during the night on Sunday. Including FAITHLESS or MORRISSEY.

Why bring a rubber chicken?













Din and San largin' it during Faithless.







Morrissey takes his shirt off again while Curt watches on with pleasure.








Stay away - they're too young for you.








Our new friends join in a game of Name 5 Famous Garys.






I managed to rescue my sister Amelia and her friend Mel from the QPR fan, but he managed to almost rape this poor woman.











We met Cousin It at V.









Oh no, it was just our new friend from Bromley being camera shy. Got her in the end though.

Nath's The Greatest Dancer.

Is he on beans?

V Festival. Penis Fight.

Two blokes rumoured to have big penises duel it out in a cock fight. Don't worry - you don't see anything. Shame I don't have video of the story of the guy drinking his own semen.

V Festival. More photos during the day on Sunday.

The gang chill out during Paul Weller.









I would never say this is a Wotton lookalike. Others did though, naming no names. cough Nath cough Din cough









San enjoying his necklace and little rucksack.












SFD!

V Festival. Photos during the day on Sunday.

The toll of the night before...









Inventive tent decoration.








Even Captain America loves V.










Curt chills during the Dandy Warhols.








The Dragon sleeps today.








Din thinks of his new friend Mark.







A random passer-by decided to pimp out Nath's hat.

V Festival: The Search For Gary.

This will probably only make sense to a very small group of people, and maybe not even to them now they're sober:

V Festival. Take That Medley.

What's your favourite Take That song?

V Festival. Photos during the night on Saturday. Including RADIOHEAD.

Radiohead was so good Nath nearly ejaculated his body weight during the gig. Admittedly his body weight is about 3 stone, but still...


Nath apparently seems to be exciting Curt too.








Nath was so excited his tricep bulged in size - as if it was readying itself for self-love.







This photo sums up Radiohead for me.








This does not. Din loved it so much he fell asleep standing up. But he did rule Paranoid Android.






Scary. Reminds me a little bit of Pob.








That plastic bag coat did come in useful. But is it a good look?








Coo-ee!








Curt looks concerned as Scott threatens to unleash the dragon.








It's hard to tell here but my ear inflated to three times its normal size due to a mosquito bite. The little bastards. It looks like Curt has eaten my other ear.

Mark McDonald murders Bon Jovi's 'Always'.

A true highlight - this blows Radiohead, Faithless AND Morrissey out of the water.

I want to this to be viewed by millions on YouTube - spread the word:

V Festival. Photos during the day on Saturday.

Here's the first lot of photos from V, click on them to make them magically become bigger:


This well attired man wants to swap clothes with Curt. Shoes or shorts, it doesn't matter - he just wanted Curt's clothes.







God knows why though. My brother straddles both sides of the sexuality divide.







Nath approves though.








Hats make me look like a chav. Or are too small for my head.








That's better. Although I have no eyes.







More photos to come later.

I think Entourage will become my new favourite programme.

I've heard from a few people now that this show is awesome and it has the crazy best friend from Grosse Pointe Blank in it (his quotes are at the bottom) - can't wait:

UK terrestrial ITV's digital spin-off ITV2 has jumped head first into US acquisitions and pulled off something of a feat by nabbing the multi-channel rights to hit HBO comedy Entourage.

The first two seasons of the Hollywood-set behind-the-scenes comedy/drama, now in its third season in the US, will kick off back-to-back on September 10 in the 22.00 timeslot.

In some ways, Entourage, executive produced by Mark Wahlberg, picks up where HBO's Sex and the City left off. It tells the story of male friendship, following the experiences of up and coming actor Vince Chase and his 'entourage' of buddies, who have also made the move from New York to LA.

They are quickly immersed in the world of flash cars, hot girls and big money. Real-life cameos are also plentiful, with the likes Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson and James Cameron making appearances.

"It's a fantastic coup for us to have the hottest show in the US right now coming to ITV2 this autumn. Entourage is perfect water cooler TV; every episode of the comedy drama lets UK viewers take a peek inside the real lives of the Hollywood elite," said Zai Bennett, controller of ITV2. "Entourage helps cement our commitment to showing the hottest new shows around."

Ari's quotes:

"We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we're gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos."

"That was a good speech, Lloyd. If I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something. "

[after his Viagra has kicked in, to his angry wife] "I'm ready to go here, all right? It's like R. Kelly at recess. Honey, honey, what are you doing? Are you kidding me? Baby!"

"Just so you know, your girlfriend, when she was in the mailroom, offered to blow me. True story."

This is how music videos should be. Part Five.

The Hoff sings a song that is only slightly suggestive of rape. By the way, let's get Hoff to number one - http://www.gethasselhofftonumber1.com/

Tony Almeida is a Legend.

As a big 24 fan, this felt like a strangely pleasing parallel universe.

This is how music videos should be. Part Four.

I've become a bit of a fan of Nelly Furtado recently, since she forgot about being like a bird and more of a promiscuous maneater. In her new video, she's a bit dirt actually (especially compared to big cuddly Timbaland's ridiculous vest and comical facial expressions). But this video is even better:

Knees 7 - 1 Chimaira

My mighty five-a-side team The Knees of Granite get one of their finest results this week which puts us in second place at the halfway point of the season, only one point behind the leaders. Who we play next week.

Team: Leigh, Aaron, Curt, Scottow, Chil, Kwes, Sweeney

Check the rising graph of league success here: http://www.goalsfootball.co.uk/Results/TeamProfile.aspx?vteamid=48803

TV Theme Tunes.

Do you want to hear the theme tune to Round The Twist? Raccoons? X-Men? Animamanics? Maybe even Sharkey and George?!

Click this link!

My Illegitimate Son's Second Report.

SOS!

Imogen from Big Brother's Sex Tape.

I'm not a fan of Big Brother but I've seen enough to see there's only one vaguely attractive girl in it and that's Imogen. Here's her (slightly disappointing) sex video.

I used to love Britney.

I saw Britney on MTV last night back when she was performing Slave 4 U at the VMAs holding that snake while wearing the sexy bikini. My god.

Then I saw this video and it brought me back to reality. When did Spears go so downhill?

Definition: Cincinnati Bowtie

I love slang terms with obscure meanings. This one is mentioned in The 40 Year Old Virgin.


Cincinnati Bowtie (noun)

When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It's called "cincinnati" because they do everything backwards there.

My bitch was complaining all night because I kept ramming my anus into her nose, but dang, I was really in the mood for a Cincinnati Bowtie.

Woman scared of pickles. Seriously.

Now it's well known I'm not a fan of pickles or any vegetable for that matter, but this is ridiculous:

Poor b*stard.

Television.

As someone whose living is TV, I thought I'd add the programmes I'll be checking out this weekend to the blog.

Thursday

Scrubs 9pm E4
This new series hasn't quite been up to the high standard of previous seasons, but still good.

Without A Trace 9pm More4
Consistently good missing persons drama.

Time Trumpet 10pm BBC2
A few laughs in this new satire last week so will check it out again this week.

Charlie Brooker's Time Trumpet 10.30pm BBC4
Funniest programme on TV right now, despite the fact that it's depressing and cynical - the Guardian columnist talks about how shit TV is basically.

Friday

Law of the Playground 9.30pm Channel 4
Essentially a talking heads show about schooldays but funny.

WWE Smackdown 10pm Sky Sports 3
Sad maybe, but I like it. Check out Ulsterman Fit Finlay and Blackpoolian William Regal beating the shit out of some Yank posers.

Saturday

Stoke v Birmingham 12.30pm Sky Sports 2
Might check this out for the Arsenal youngsters to watch them save the Brummies.

Mr and Mrs Smith 8pm Sky Movies 2
Never seen it so may give it a watch.

The Story of Light Entertainment 9.25pm BBC2
The first 2 episodes are still sitting on my digibox waiting to be watched but looks interesting.

Midnight Run12.15am ITV1
Classic buddy movie with Robert De Niro.

Sunday

Palace v Leeds 12pm Sky Sports 1
Maybe if I can be bothered.

Chelsea v Liverpool 3pm Sky Sports 1
Community Shield, worth a look.

ECW 10pm Sky Sports 3
Kurt Angle vs Sabu.

Dawn French's Girls Who Do Comedy 10.15pm BBC1
See if she can find any funny ones.

Monday

Some Thoughts By Karl Pilkington 7.55pm Channel 4
Gervais' genius radio producer gets 5 minutes a day after the Channel 4 news.

WWE Raw Live 2am Sky Sports 3
Hulk Hogan is on! Maybe with his kind of attractive daughter!


I'll never watch all that. It'll just sit on the box forever.

Will they hurry up and leave?

What's going on with Ashley Cole and Jose Antonio Reyes? This should have been sorted out by now. The season's essentially started and Arsenal need to have a settled squad. Given up on Cole now - just hope we get the ridiculous money Chelski have splashed out on everyone else. As for Jose, I wouldn't mind just knowing what's going on.

Still think we could do with a centre half although was good to see Djhourou start on Tuesday alongside Toure and do a good job - particularly the tackle he made in the second half. Hopefully him or Senderos will really step up this season. Not too worried about left back with Hoyte back after a good season as Sunderland, Ryan Garry back from injury, Glichy back in September and Kerrea Gilbert learning his trade on loan at Cardiff. Plus Mathieu Flamini if we need him (got us to the Champs League Final!).

If we lose Reyes, would be good to see Ribery, Robihno or Baptista in the red and white this season. Not the end of the world if he goes, but he was usual in Europe last season and looked like he was improving game by game towards the end of the season.

The 10 Best Will Ferrell Skits Of All Time

http://cracked.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=795

Click on the link above for all of the best sketches from Will Ferrell's Saturday Night Live career - number one is this:

Jose Moanihno

From Football365.com:

Says the ever-more-appropriately-nicknamed Jose Moaninho, at pains to make excuses for his side's defeat in their pre-season tour of America:

"After our first friendly match you can see we're still far behind and not ready for the new season.

"It's disturbing but that is the truth. We are paying for contributing more players to the World Cup.

"My players were heavy, slow and not sharp. I am disturbed but we have to work hard and play more friendlies. We will need up to seven more games to begin to find our range - it's that bad."

"Because we had so many players at the World Cup, we start at a disadvantage to every other club. Other people have had matches, but I have had just 12 days to prepare my players to compete against a team such as Arsenal, who have had many weeks."

F365's writers have already pointed out Mourinho's rather odd time-keeping. Chelski's marketing drive - sorry, pre-season tour - in America began a full 24 days before the start of the Premiership season.

They've also pointed out that Arsenal 'arrive in Zagreb for a critical Champions League qualifier minus nine first-teamers, including World Cup finalist Thierry Henry who has still yet to return to full training.'

They didn't bother to point out the rather dull fact that Arsenal and Chelski had the same number of players at the World Cup.

But there are two things about the whole affair that catch Mediawatch's attention.

The first is the memory of Mourinho's infamous claim to have a hundred-page dossier of Arsene Wenger's comments about Chelski - a claim which he compounded by labelling Arsene Wenger a "voyeur" and almost landing himself in court.

The second was his insistence in the summer of 2004 that ManYoo's problems could in no way be attributed to their players' exertions during the European Championships that year, and that any claims to the contrary were merely poor excuses.

My Top Five Songs Right Now.

There's no rules - just five songs I really like right at this moment. Leave your own in the comments section.

Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
Raspberry Beret - Prince
Summer Breeze - The Isley Brothers
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Two Princes - Spin Doctors

Nathan Carr dancing like a loon.

This video does not quite do justice to the experience of watching Nath dance like an Epileptic who's been forced to watch flashing images of his parents having sex. He was literally doing it for a whole minute at one point but unfortunately this is the only remaining video evidence.

This is how music videos should be. Part Three.

Joe Pesci is literally a gangster rapper. This is why Joe Pesci hasn't been in a film since Lethal Weapon 4.

My Illegitimate Son's Report.

The best kid in the universe gives his views on George Bush, monkeys, Coke loyalty rewards and Youtube.

A Weird Thing Happened To Me.

So I was minding my own business the other day working, and I got an add request on MSN Messenger. Fairly normal you might think, apart from the fact that it was a request from Aaron. Aaron Rosenthal. That's my name. The address was aaronrosenthal@hotmail.co.uk. I figured maybe it was someone with the same name who had found me. My name's pretty unusual, but it's not a ridiculous thought. So I said yes. And then things went even weirder.

The other 'Aaron' said hello on MSN, and had my photo. You what? He insisted we just looked the same, but obviously it's a photo of me. He never relented and admitted who he was. The only information he gave me was that he was from Barking. Bizarre.

Basically I wanna know who it was - anyone gonna help me out?

Click on the chat window on the right to make it bigger and see what happened.

Heath Ledger IS The Joker.

I had my doubts that Heath Ledger was right to play the Joker in the new Batman sequel but my friend Offord (check his MySpace) has proved me wrong - he's a spitting image.

The new Cesc?

Here's a little compilation of Fran Marida, the newest wonderkid that Arsenal have stolen from Barcelona - he scored against Boreham Wood on his debut the other day which is nice. Apologies for the music accompanying the skills, which are very impressive by the way. Reminds me of a young Aaron Rosenthal, showboating at Goals...

This is how music videos should be. Part Two.

OK Go come through with another excellent one.

This is how music videos should be.

How have I not seen this before?

My Illegitimate Son.

The kid genius performs 'Beep' by Pussycat Dolls feat. Will.i.am.

Genesis

Howdy

I'm always emailing videos to everyone and never quite sure whether people appreciate them, so now they're all gonna be collected on here, along with the jism that emanates from my brain that day.

Enjoy!

Aaron