Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Emirates Stadium.


Went to the new Arsenal stadium for the first time on Saturday and it's HUGE. The old days of having a stadium behind some houses are gone; this is truly a STADIUM. The signs were good - as soon as we walked in, the endless flat screen TVs showed Liverpool scoring against Spurs. And we weren't disappointed; a seemingly disinterested Henry and a strong defensive performance from Sheff Utd was eventually thwarted when Henry turned on his engines and was instrumental in all 3 goals. And so I was party to the first ever league win at Arsenal's new stadium. Awesome. Now all they have to do is reduce their ticket prices to a cost less than the average daily wage.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Angle goes to TNA - It's True, It's Damn True.


Don't usually put wrestling stuff on here - but this is huge news: Olympic Gold Medallist and former WWE Champ Kurt Angle has joined rival company TNA, who have just got themselves a primetime deal on Spike TV in the US. Big news. I need to somehow watch TNA now...

Little Superstar.

I haven't been updating the blog for a few days but I'm back with a gem - what film is this from? What is this about? Does it matter? Bring on the awesome.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Even Stevphen - The War In Iraq.

Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert go back to 2003 to see whether we should have gone to war in Iraq.

DMX's wife is a moron.

Rapper DMX has got away with getting another woman pregnant as he claims she raped him. His wife is a moron.

Tashera Simmons -- wife to rapper DMX -- stands by her man as he talks openly about recently fathering a child with a Washington, D.C., woman. “She raped me," (DMX says). "I mean, you know, that might sound like some bullshit. No man has ever been... you know what I mean, like never? Is that the only thing in the world that's not possible?" Mrs. Simmons recalled an earlier encounter with the woman. "Before the stuff hit the fan, she came up to us while we were in court and said 'I work for kids that are sickly,' said Tashera. "So he said 'Give her my number.' That's how it goes all the time. At first, I said OK. But, then I thought she looked deranged and obsessed with him." While his wife "blocks out" the experience to cope, DMX gained a more valuable lesson: "Turn on the light before I go to sleep," he said.

So DMX is saying he wouldn't have been raped if he had the light on. This woman was able to overpower him, get him hard and make him ejaculate just because they were in the dark.

DMX's wife is a moron.

Labels:

I could pull Shakira.

Where the hell is the justice? This man is going out with my beloved Shakira:

Xabi Alonso's goal from last night.

Looks like Shay Given will be getting this place in goal back.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Islam vs. Christianity.

Can Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert come to a decision in 3 minutes?

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Could this be a little biased?

This is from manutd.com:

'Fixtures between these two teams are rarely uneventful or short of controversy. And so it was that, just five minutes into the contest, United fans were screaming for Lehmann to be sent off. The Gunners' goalkeeper picked the ball up clearly outside his area, but referee Graham Poll deemed it only a yellow card offence.'

Open Mic

So last night, after sampling a night of top stand up comedy with my flatmate Nathan, we decided to challenge each other to perform open mic stand up in front of an audience on Sunday October 22nd - just over a month to come up with material. What have I done?!

Monday, September 18, 2006

1-0 to the Arsenal.

I just have to say yesterday's match was brilliant. The new Kanu Emmanuel Adebayor worked so hard and deserved his goal and the rest of the team played the great passing football as usual but managed to turn it into chances and eventually a goal. And well done to the boys for getting the boot in when needed - something Arsenal sometimes lack. Nice one.

Now let's get a win on Saturday in my very first visit to the Emirates...

Poor Steve-O.

Party Boy and Steve-O get up close and personal with an elk. This is why I ran away from the horny camel that wanted to hump me.

How To Do A Talk Show Interview.

David Cross (from Arrested Development, which I need to get round to watching some time) on Carson Daly's talk show:

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Random Photos From My Life.

Wish I was a special agent.

















England fever in Finsbury Park.

















Why aren't I the man in the middle?

DMC Champion DJ Pogo and his mate.


Two fine examples of masculinity.

Labels:

Wrestler beats up fan.

Jeff Jarrett rules if you ask me. Who challenges a professional wrestler?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Cashley Cole.

I am very disappointed with Ashley Cole.

I'm not pissed off at Reyes - he's clearly homesick, we've seemingly got a good swap deal and he's not a massive loss to be honest.

But Ashley, Ashley, Ashley...

55 grand a week not enough for you? You couldn't do ANOTHER OK! photo shoot with Cheryl Tweedy or an awful National Lottery promotion to supplement that meagre weekly salary?! Here's Ashley's quote:

The next thing I know, on December 20, Jonathan (Barnett) is on the phone with good news: “Ash, I’ve just met David Dein for breakfast at Claridge’s; we’ve shaken on £60,000 a week.” As it turned out, the Arsenal board had other ideas about rubber-stamping Mr Dein’s recommendation. At a board meeting held two days before our 1–0 away defeat at Bolton in January, it was decided the maximum offer should be £55,000 a week. I don’t believe the board gave a damn about keeping me. It preferred to haggle over a difference of £5,000.

I believe you decided to leave a club that your "heart and soul was tied to with a fisherman's knot" over a difference of £5000 so I guess it was worth haggling over.

And where does Ashley think he will get sympathy from? The fans who pay his wages, most of whom earn less than 55 grand in a year?

By the way, Ashley did end up getting the 60 grand a year from Arsenal in the end after more negotiation. More gems from Ashley:

MY WORST FEARS WERE CONFIRMED when, as Thierry (Henry) and I sat in the centre circle after the final whistle, his name was sung from the rooftops while my contribution was recognised by a deafening silence. As his chants faded away we waited for mine. And we waited. And there was nothing. “They’re not bothered about me,” I said, resigned to the fact. It was like I was the invisible man.

Poor baby. I'm shocked and appalled that Arsenal fans weren't singing his name from the rooftops after (a) Thierry scored a hat trick to win us Champions League football on the last day of the season, (b) Ashley barely played all season but got back in time for the World Cup and (c) he had a meeting with Chelsea, our main rivals for the Premier League title!!! Shocked I tell you.

I'm not even going to get into the tapping up scandal - let's just say Ashley has ended up at Chelsea and is earning a lot of money. Hmmm.

Looking forward to Ash addressing those mobile-phone-up-the-arse rumours tomorrow...

Monday, September 11, 2006

I am amazing at Go-Karting.

I got free tickets to see The new Will Ferrell film Tallageda Nights (which is very funny and well worth a watch by the way) and to go Go-Karting yesterday, which was a right touch. Our team won the overall competition (obviously) and we were so obnoxious in our celebrations with the sexy pit girls that we were booed as we sprayed the champagne. Glorious. Here's me and Curt on the podium.

Wrestling idiots.

How did they ever think they wouldn't be in huge amounts of pain?

Japanese Steve Irwin

Will he fare as well as Steve?

This is how music videos should be. Part Six.

A bunch of girls pay tribute to the great 'A Million Ways' video by OK Go.

Everyone laugh at the fat kid.

You know you want to.

Too many motherfucking snakes on this plane.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Help me please. I have to live with him.

My flatmate Nath made this. I have no idea what the meaning of it is supposed to be:

Man forced to marry goat.

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.

"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".

Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.

"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

Superman: How It Should Have Ended.

I hate the ending of the original Superman film - this is better:

Sexy Quarters Trick.

Why don't I have a hot girl to play coin tricks with? Wait a sec, why the hell is he wasting his time flicking coins?!

I can't believe Arnie is a sleazebag.

Well worth watching this until the end.

Bin Laden is a Whitney Houston fan.

Al Qaida chief Osama bin Laden was obsessed with singer Whitney Houston and wanted to marry her, a new book claims.

Kola Boof, a Sudanese poet and novelist who says she was kept against her will as the terror boss's mistress in 1996, writes in her autobiography that he wanted to give the star a mansion and make her one of his wives.

"He told me that Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen," Boof claims in Diary of a Lost Girl, excerpts of which are published in Harper's magazine.

But Bin Laden had less respect for Houston's husband Bobby Brown, apparently talking about the possibility of having him killed.

"He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of some day spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar," Boof writes.

"He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum.

"He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives.

Bin Laden would speak constantly about "how beautiful she (Houston) is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women's husbands killed.

Boof, who also says the Al Qaida supremo would "ramble on" about his favourite TV shows, The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver, adds: "In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the star, as well as copies of Playboy ... It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

What the hell is this?

Russian soldiers have found some weird dead creature and no one knows what it is:

http://englishrussia.com/?p=251

Knight Rider Movie.

Here's the new KITT prototype for the upcoming Knight Rider film:

Serge Kasabian is a footballing genius.

From Soccer AM's road to Wembley game:


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Monday, September 04, 2006

Cock!

No wonder Pete from Big Brother was so popular with the ladies - here's a Not Safe For Work photo of him naked:

http://www.holymoly.co.uk/images/petebb.jpg

Steve Irwin RIP.

Sad news that the Crocodile Hunter is dead, but at least he died doing what he does best - getting way too close to dangerous animals.