Cashley Cole gets reported on Holy Moly! today

From today's gossip-filled Holy Moly! email:

He Shoots, He Scores!
A certain much-hated and in-no-way greedy footballer is in a (penalty) spot of bother with his bride of a few months.
The sportsman took advantage of his expanded pay packet by revealing his expanded packet to a well-known soccer groupie called Brooke.
The boy done well, slipped into the box, shot and scored. But in their haste, both had 'forgotten' to take precautions; so far too much hit the back of the net, meaning the chance for both teams to do battle again, in around nine months. At the Child Support Agency Arena or the Theatre of Screams.
The lady was ecstatic that her Machiavellian plot had produced such a result. The shamefaced, traitorous footballer was less delighted, especially after telling his wife that his most recent fixture was adamant about having the baby. Cue a phone call from wifey, trilling down the phone in her best singing voice that if she ever comes across Brooke she would "bash her head in".
Careful, Brooke, she's got previous!